A Full Length Play

AGAINST THE DYING OF THE LIGHT
continued

By G. L. Horton
copyright © 2007 Geralyn Horton

SCENE THREE: The Grannies in Performance

(Begins in black with the faded—in crowd sounds and then the sound of a Granny ditty: there may also be some kind of multimedia collage while we hear and/or see the group singing the end of a satirical verse:)

Verse [tune to be composed]
Where are we going with leaders
Who ought to be in jail?
Why are we fighting in the desert?
We'd be better off if we fail!
Who is it set this agenda?
What are they trying to do?
I think they're stealing our country
And they want Iraq's oil, too!

(and then the chorus:)

Yes, we are singing/ This nasty song
Hope's what we're bringing/ So sing along!

(the crowd joins?)

Your Granny's angry / At the mess they've made.
Let's right these wrongs!/ Join our parade!

(applause & cheers)

(In the dark the Grannies get into costume, and get paddle puppets for the Piggy skit. When the lights come up the theatre audience sees them performing "The Little Piggies" for the rally audience from an off-angle when "on stage", but can also see them "backstage"— behind a black masking curtain— when waiting for an entrance or watching and commenting while Emma talks to the rally audience and then goes out into the crowd with a traveling mic, interviewing individuals. The interviewed people can be either merely audio voices, or pre-recorded video shown on the "backstage" monitors. The monitor sound levels should fade behind the Granny voices so that it is clear that the backstage action is the focus of the theatre audience's attention.)

(Dialogue backstage will overlap onstage and video monitor speeches.)

ANNOUNCER: Now, people: give it up for the Grannies and The Little Piggies! (applause)

(GRANNIES take their places and perform the routine)

(cheers and applause as the Grannies file off stage)

ALL: (Ad. lib.) We did it! Shh! Emma's speaking.

EMMA ON MIC: Hi! I'm Granny Emma, and I want to ask you: How many of you are afraid? (crowd noise) Are you afraid of being locked up in Guantanamo as an enemy of the State? (crowd noise) Or are you afraid of being called one of "those crazy hippies"?

AMY: Good for you, Veronica! You're practically a pro!

EMMA:.....Well, get over it! I was there in 1960. I hung out with hippies because the "respectable ...

ALL: (Ad lib, hugging VERONICA & putting away the pig-skit props).

EMMA: .... adults" were talking gibberish. The hippies I knew weren't crazy— at least they didn't start out that way. They were serious. Being serious may mean you recognize that people around you are either deluded, or flat out evil.

DOLORES: You weren't scared at all.

VERONICA: Oh yes I was!

EMMA: ...Look what's happening now! America's 60-year effort to secure our oil supply by propping up foreign dictators has stopped working. We bring down elected governments for 60 years— then complain that democracy hasn't spread!

AMY: Well, it didn't show.

JOY: Rona would be proud of you.

VERONICA: You're very kind.

DOLORES: They're trying to butter you up and get you to stay.

EMMA:.. About one out of 4 Christians think that the trumpet of Rapture may blow tomorrow— meanwhile they're urging us in the name of Christ to kill Muslims— Because Muslims are such religious fanatics! Frankly, we're once again in a time when being serious means you recognize delusion. Can we start to turn things around?

(ALL join applauding and cheering.)

AMY: Listen to that crowd! Emma's got 'em in the palm of her hand.

EMMA:..Because if we see that we're on the wrong track, that's what drives people crazy. What do you think, people? Try to keep your comments to under a minute— Hands up!

(Emma disappears into rally audience)

VOICE FROM AUDIENCE: Over here!

SPEAKER #1: (on monitor screen as video, or as recorded audio. continuous)
Yeah, me. I'm asking. What is this fear? Why won't the Democrats impeach?

DOLORES: Fear, schmeer: it takes 60 senators. We've got 49.

#1... Are they afraid of the skeletons in their closets? Both parties have members who aren't what you'd call fine ethical examples.

JOY: When Democrats are crooks, at least they're ashamed to be crooks. These thugs are proud! Corruption is their policy!

AMY: Shh... I want to hear this.

#1... Is that why the Democrats didn't fight in 2000? Afraid of what might crawl out, when all the ballot boxes were opened? Or is it their FBI files, that they're afraid of? Well, I say— let the chips fall where they may! Everybody, tell the truth...

DOLORES: Like that's going to happen!

AMY: Shhh!

#1... No one living on this earth is perfect. To learn from our mistakes we've got to admit them.

DOLORES: They can't hear us out there, Amy.

#1... Our country has gotten so used to liars that when...

AMY: I think (s)he's right, and I want to listen! Shhh!

#1... someone tries to be truthful they get accused of flip-flopping. But this is the time to insist on the truth. Our side too! (applause. AMY joins in.)

AMY: Absolutely.

#1.. what comes to light may cause deep wounds. National shame and suffering. But — Everybody! Try to do the right thing. (applause from crowd)

AMY: Amen!

EMMA: Who else has something to say?

SPEAKER #2, HELEN: About a year ago I got the notion of going to Baghdad to see the war for myself— and report on it. Yeah! I actually went! My local weekly got me a press pass.

JOY: Wow! She's either a total nut, or my hero.

#2... Problem is, I couldn't get much of the story, 'cause they wouldn't let me out of the Green Zone! Still, even confined, I found some Iraqis who spoke English— especially women—

VERONICA: She looks about our age.

#2... and they told me things Americans never hear. But the Green Zone is under siege,

JOY: Wouldn't it be great if we could get her to join us?

AMY: It sure would.

#2... and the longer it goes on the cleverer the attackers. Bombs and rockets get through.

DOLORES: Hell, we should join her!

#2... I had lunch in the cafeteria one day: the next day it was bombed! Suddenly I felt it was time to go home and see my grandchildren. The weekly printed all my stuff— but it's really small. I want to tell you— tell everybody I can. We don't belong in Iraq! (crowd applause)

JOY: I'm going to try to recruit her!

AMY: How will you find her in the crowd?

DOLORES: Wait a minute—

JOY: I'll be right back!

SPEAKER #3, YOUNG STUDENT: What amazes me is to see the way people can change overnight...

VERONICA: Aren't we supposed to stay here?

#3... My friend Collette? A student? She became a radical the day she met Lt. Watada! Have you all heard of him? (scattered applause from the crowd)

DOLORES: Yes. They may call us back.

#3... The conscientious objector who refused to return for a second tour in Iraq? (cheers)

AMY: You think Joy is out of line?

#3... Lt. Watada said he was inspired to become a Refusnik when he saw students walking out of class! Ordinary students, like us! Doesn't that just blow you away?

DOLORES: If Joy does recruit that woman, Emma will love it!

#3.. I'd heard about the '60s, drugs and stuff. My friends and I thought "it's history." Meaning, "in the past. Over."

VERONICA: If they call us back, what are we supposed to do?

#3... But my Gram says protest works! And Collette has found her voice!

AMY: We can't encore "Piggies" without Joy.

#3... She makes speeches. She's organizing a teach-in!

VERONICA: I've only rehearsed the songs we just did.

#3... Collette got me and a dozen friends to get on a bus and come to this rally!

VERONICA: What am I supposed to do?

#3... All across this country young people are on fire! They want to turn this into a nation they can be proud of! (crowd applause)

DOLORES: Take your word sheet on stage with you.

SPEAKER #4: 40ish WOMAN: (unamplified voice, off-mic) You people! You're on the wrong side! (crowd adlibs)

DOLORES: You know all the tunes. You'll be fine.

#4... Face facts! We can't all join hands and sing "Kumbyah"!

(Crowd says "Give her the mic.")

DOLORES: Better than the rest if they rehearse for a year.

#4... (off-mic) You're all women— and some of you say you're Christians. Don't you know who'll suffer, if al-Qaeda wins? (gets mic: on monitor) Women aren't even human to the Taliban! Do you want to live under a law that sews you up in a bag, imprisons you in the kitchen, stones you to death if you want to choose your husband? Here a woman can run for president! (murmurs)

DOLORES: Why do I get the feeling she's not going to vote for Hillary?

#4... There they plant bombs inside the Huda Girls' School—

VERONICA: Why do I get the feeling you won't either?

#4... timed to go off when all the girls are inside. They would have killed and maimed every one

DOLORES: You must be psychic.

#4... of them, if the U.S. marines hadn't stopped them! Girls of thirteen given to diseased men of fifty to settle a debt— this is what they plan for us!

DOLORES: This woman is really creepy.

VERONICA: She is.

#4... Even their heaven— the 72 virgins? Their heaven is a hell for females!

AMY: (to DOLORES) Aren't you going to say something?

#4 .. Is this what you want? For your Christian daughters and granddaughters?

DOLORES: It's not my turn. (AMY goes onstage to mic.)

#4... Unless we stop them, they'll force their Satanic Islam onto the whole world.

(crowd murmurs. AMY uses on-stage mic that EMMA used.)

AMY: (on stage) I have to witness, here. Jesus says to do good to them that hate you. Turn the other cheek. We can't follow our Savior by going against what he told us in the Sermon on the Mount: "Blessed are the peacemakers."

EMMA: Thank you, Granny Amy. But in a democracy, people have the right to their opinions— even if we think they are dangerous and wrong. (AMY retreats)

#4... How can you be so blind? If you have your way, there will come a day of weeping and gnashing of teeth.

DOLORES: (to AMY) Please tell me you won't do that again.

#4... IEDs, car bombs, suicide planes; gas, anthrax, dirty nukes— in a neighborhood near you!

AMY: (nods) Emma looked upset.

#4... Give Islam a victory? It's the gate to Armageddon! (restive crowd)

AMY: Armageddon! "No man knows the hour or the day..."

DOLORES: Shhh!

EMMA: (to SPEAKER #5) You next? Go ahead.

SPEAKER #5: OK. Hands up! Who's proud of our "Mission Accomplished?"

VERONICA: Nobody? (they look at monitor and shake their heads.)

#5... In a mere 4 years we've turned a functioning State into tribes at war with each other, and destabilized the whole Middle East.

VERONICA: Look at them all. Do you get choked up, too?

#5... That's good work. Did it on the cheap, too— only half a trillion bucks

AMY: Sometimes when we're singing, tears run down my cheeks.

#5... and a few thousand dead Americans. None of those dead troops make campaign donations, though, so they don't count.

VERONICA: Vietnam Vets with their medals and gray mustaches—

#5... Bush says, "Honor those brave men and women. Don't let them die in vain."

VERONICA: So much like my memories, just older.

DOLORES: And the young ones, the Iraq Veterans.

#5... The Dems are too cautious to call him on it. They're dying for his Napoleonic whim!

AMY: I had no idea there were so many against the war!

#5... Too cautious? Hell! 2001 or 2, that was the time for caution.

VERONICA: All the students so hip and so gorgeous, standing next to gray-haired oldies who look like Rona and me.

#5... This is the time for action! This is our last chance! Stop the damage, people.

VERONICA: I'm just melting. Just melting. (#6 grabs #5's mic.)

SPEAKER #6 , TIMOTHY (in uniform, looking as if he hasn't slept and is on medication): I'm Timothy, and I have to talk, though if the brass hears this, my ass is grass. I've been in Iraq—that Armpit of the Earth. Those freaking Hajjis are subhuman; they're filthy,

DOLORES: Who's he calling filthy? You'd have to cross the street or faint from his smell.

#6 ....superstitious liars who ass-kiss everybody over them and treat anybody lower like dirt. But they're really good at killing. They hate us— as they should!

VERONICA: He looks like he's been in a war.

#6... Any of you think this is a Good War? It'll come out all right if we just hang in there?

AMY: Like he's at war with everyone.

#6... Bullshit! We're fucking Invaders. The Goddamn Terrorists or "Insurgents" or Al Queda, or whatever we're calling them, see themselves as patriots! A Resistance, fighting for Freedom.

VERONICA: You mean a nihilist?

#6... Sure, Saddam was a bad guy— but he was 'their' bad guy.

AMY: People are scared of him.

#6... We came crashing in and made their lives a living hell.

DOLORES: Timothy's harmless. A real radical would look respectable, so he'd blend in while he goes around planting bombs.

#6... We've killed more innocent, everyday, just want to live their lives Iraqis than Saddam ever did— and they hate us for it. The real choice? Get the fuck out or fucking nuke 'em all— Iran and Saudi and Syria, too.

DOLORES: He could be a plant. Undercover. I guess that's my cue.

(DOLORES takes off bonnet and apron and walks to the onstage mic.)

#6... "Cause they're never sit gonna still and be pacified. (crowd response)

DOLORES: (onstage mic): My nephew, who is a Naval Reservist, was called up to duty in Iraq. He has two young kids. He's 43 years old! They're desperate. Naval and Air Force personnel are being retrained in places like Camp Shelby Mississippi— in mock-up towns built Iraqi style.

(EMMA joins DOLORES on stage, back from interviewing the audience.)

DOLORES: (continuous) They trained my nephew to drive some big convoy escort vehicle. Fortunately, when he got to Iraq they learned that he knows how to pour concrete, so now that's what he's doing. This is a "good berth" for him— because it's not as dangerous as those convoys. Still, the Green Zone is getting shelled. My younger nephew— he's decided to leave the Navy as soon as his enlistment's up. He says he didn't join the Navy to be in the Army! Or in somebody else's Civil War!

(AMY walks out on stage, dragging VERONICA along.)

AMY: People! We're got a new Granny here today, for her first time. I'd like to ask you to welcome her, and give her a chance to say something. (applause)

VERONICA: I don't really have anything—

AMY: Don't be shy. We all have the right to make our voices heard.

VERONICA: Yeah, Ummm.. Shy people sometimes prefer to let music speak for them.
(sings) This Granny's angry / At the mess they've made.
Let's right these wrongs!/ Join the parade!

AMY: (starts singing— tune "Good Night Sweetheart")
Good night ladies, (Delores joins— VERONICA frantically tries to find the word sheet)
Till we meet tomorrow (VERONICA joins— they sing harmony, sound pretty good)
(JOY and HELEN enter "backstage.")
Sweet dreams ladies, dreams will ease your sorrow. While you're dreaming, we'll be up and scheming to fight the good fight, ladies— Good night!
(JOY looks confused: should she go onstage? No. Stays behind.)

(GRANNIES all file off.)

ANNOUNCER: Give the Grannies a great big hand, folks! (applause) Now, people? Here's Jeb Pool, Professor of Law at DI Polytech. Thanks for joining us, professor.

SPEAKER #7 Thanks, friends. It's great to be here. You can bet your butt I want my country back! But it's not going to happen overnight.

AMY: Joy! You found her!

#7... This gang began their takeover in the early 70's, when Texas oil men financed a drive to control the Republican party.

JOY: This is Helen. I think she's going to join us.

EMMA: That's wonderful!

#7... They push moderates out and Democrats to the right. Not a single progressive left! They're all the Money Party.

HELEN: I'll be in this area till I've saved up for my next stunt.

DOLORES: Your Bagdad trip was a doozy.

#7... Anyone think putting Rudy in the White House in 2008 will restore sanity? (lone voice, "yes!") You're living in a dream.

HELEN: The only journalism I'd done was helping the kids in Reform School put out a student newspaper. Turned out my age and inexperience weren't a problem.

AMY: I think you may be my heroine.

VERONICA: mine, too.

#7... Who can you trust to run the government? Now that King George has twisted it with torture laws and spy networks? And his unitary executive crap? Do you trust Mitt?

Crowd and ALL BACKSTAGE: "No!"

#7... McCain? ("No!")

Crowd and ALL BACKSTAGE: "No!"

#7... How about Hillary?

DOLORES & VERONICA: No! HELEN & AMY: Yes! EMMA: Maybe!

#7... I want all that Decider crap rolled back and the war ended before we let anyone in the White House door!

HELEN: Did you hear about the time I served George Bush an eviction notice?

#7.. Please! Can we petition the United Nations for an interim government?

ALL BACKSTAGE (astonished): What a good idea! (Nods. soft cheers.)

#7... We desperately need a full housecleaning— but the odds are against us.

HELEN: Bush has no right to live in the White House. He was never elected!

#7... You and I are going to have to work night and day, if we hope to restore government to the people. (applause) Thanks for letting me have my say. (applause)

HELEN: Chances are you didn't hear about it. Back then I didn't have any friends in the press. My Baghdad reporting put me in touch, so expect to hear about my next stunt. I have to come up with something so people say "Good! I wish I'd done that!"

JOY: Good! I wish I'd done that! (hugs HELEN)

EMMA: Either one of that!

AMY: Baghdad's heroic, but the eviction stunt's too much like fun.

JOY: Like fun? It is fun! I'm all for it.

EMMA: As my namesake says, "If I can't dance, you can keep your Revolution."

ANNOUNCER: Don't go away! Here's the one you've been waiting for! That fantasmasgastic, superslappin' rarpperdasting one-man DMZ— The Green Zone Hornet!

GREEN ZONE: Grannies? You back there? Come on out and join up with me! Let's kick this scene up a level! All right?!

(Cheers. Grannies scramble to put bonnets back on as they go back out on the rally stage. A drum-heavy intro to the Green Zone Hornet's rap number begins. On the monitor we see GREEN ZONE HORNET and a straggly group of Grannies who try to do call-and-response and ad lib choreography with the rapper.)

(The music segues into the chorus of the Grannies' "Nasty Song.")

GO TO NEXT: SCENE FOUR

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