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A One Act Play
And the Lion Shall Lie Down with...
By G. L. Horton
copyright © 1997
Geralyn Horton
CHARACTERS:
JAYNE:
BIFF:
Time/Place/Scene: A tent in the woods at night. Forest
sounds, rustling, maybe a few distant voices -- this is a place
built as a kids' camp now used as a spiritual retreat. A couple
is making love under the blankets, the tent's darkness relieved
only by a tiny votive candle burning before a statue of Kwan Yin.
(or Buddha, if the Goddess is unavailable). Panting and a moan
or two from the couple.
JAYNE
Uhh... could you..?
BIFF
What?
JAYNE
Could you stop? For just a moment?
BIFF
What is it? Am I squashing you?
JAYNE
Shhh.
(pause, listening. Switches on battery lantern, wraps herself
in robe.)
Did you hear that?
BIFF
Are you married?
JAYNE
No. I told you I wasn't.
BIFF
That's what you told me, but--
JAYNE
Shh. There it goes again. Don't you hear it?
BIFF
Somebody's walking down the path. If it's not your angry husband,
why should we care who 's walking around out there?
JAYNE
Not that walking sound. The cry, further away. The kind of wailing
crying sound.
BIFF
You mean like a baby? You don't have a baby here somewhere, do
you?
JAYNE
It's not a baby's cry. It must be an animal.
BIFF (Switces off lantern, pulls Jayne to bed)
An animal! Not to worry. You're safe in here with me, babe.
JAYNE
Jayne.
BIFF
What?
JAYNE
My name's Jayne.
BIFF
I know you're Jayne, Jayne.
JAYNE (switches lantern on)
I can't believe you didn't hear that.
BIFF
I was pretty much absorbed.
JAYNE
It sounded like a cross between a big cat and a wolf-- .
BIFF
Probably a dog.
JAYNE
I know dogs. This was not a dog.
BIFF
Not to worry. No big furry thing is going to come down out of
the hills and rip Jayne into little pieces. Not with old Biff
around; Biff is king of the Beasts.
JAYNE
I'm not worried. I mean, not about that.
BIFF
Great. So maybe we can go back to... (switches lantern off)
JAYNE
I'm afraid I'm not comfortable.
BIFF
You want to be on top?
JAYNE
I don't think so.
BIFF
Is it that thing Grushi said about women's thighs? Believe me,
that doesn't apply to you. Baby, you've got great thighs.
JAYNE
I'm Jayne. And I don't think I want to do this any more.
BIFF
But you started it.
JAYNE
I know. It was a mistake. (ties robe, snaps on battery lantern,
puts on slippers)
BIFF
A mistake? Why?
JAYNE
I don't know why. But I'm really sorry. I don't want you to think
that you've done something wrong, or that you're not-- . I mean
you're fine, you're really --
BIFF
That's OK. No big deal.
JAYNE
I guess I lost touch with my inner fire.
BIFF
Hey, these things happen.
JAYNE
Wow, that's great. You're centered and secure enough --
BIFF
Sure, the old Leo confidence. It's no fur off my hide. Still--
JAYNE
Yes...?
BIFF
Looking at it the situation objectively, you know--- not all ego-involved,
but in a yang and yin kind of way--I think maybe you'd be better
off if we carried through with it.
JAYNE
Oh, I don't think so.
BIFF
Well, looking at it logically. From a wider, more spiritual perspective.
Having set certain impulses, certain energies, in motion, and
considering that for every action there is an equal and opposite
reaction. If we just suddenly stop, with these energies all off
balance---. Well, you may be momentarily relieved, as an individual
person. But as a part of the whole...?
JAYNE
As long as you're OK with it.
BIFF
Oh, sure. I am. Perfectly. But that's as me, Biff. As the yang
to your yin....? Now, as you noticed before, I'm a really centered
individual, a Leo plus plus. And "the lion does not bite the one
who has trodden upon its tail because it is joyous and responds
to Heaven's will". But say your yin is really running negative
and has something to work out, a dangerous impulse to leave a
partner hurt and angry and frustrated---
JAYNE
Oh, I don't think--. Wait a minute. Now you're telling me you're
angry?
BIFF
Not at all. I'm not angry. My beast is evolved way past that.
All I'm saying is that if you tend to get yourself into situations
where a normal unevolved guy would find himself angry---
JAYNE
I don't accept that. If the guy gets angry, then that's his problem.
He's got to learn how to deal with it..
BIFF
Sure he does. But wouldn't it be fair to say that a guy might
definitely feel that he'd been led on?
You see what I'm saying, don't you? You're with me so far? I mean,
I suppose it could be a case of crossed signals. If you can honestly
say you weren't giving out a come on?
JAYNE
No, I definitely did. You didn't misread me -- I mistook myself.
I thought I heard the rush of my tide, the pull of my moon--
BIFF
So it would be reasonable if I -- or anybody--had expectations.
JAYNE
Well, I had expectations too, big ones--
BIFF
But something changed.
JAYNE
Something's changed.
BIFF
Something about me?
JAYNE
I wouldn't say that, exactly.
BIFF
Did I reveal myself as some kind of animal, suddenly?
JAYNE
Of course not, nothing like that. It's got nothing to do with
you, really--
BIFF
Uh huh. So is that fair?
JAYNE
As fair as I can be and still--
BIFF
So the guy is going along in good faith, playing his part, and
suddenly, blam. You're in a different drama. What's the guy to
do? I think you have to play it out. Otherwise you set up this
almost cosmic disturbance, all that energy has to go retrograde.
Honestly, aren't you uncomfortable?
JAYNE
Because of that cry, that animal, outside..
BIFF
No. Because you've knocked us off balance. Balance is the key.
Once we've discharged what we've set in motion, then we'll be
OK, both of us.
JAYNE
I'm OK now. And I don't see why you'd be happy having sex with
somebody who's lost interest.
BIFF
Believe me, I will! Well, all right. Maybe not happy, exactly.
But a hell of a lot better than if I have to limp out of here
and beat off. At least you could---
JAYNE
Biff, I can't focus. My mind is off in the woods there, with that
animal--
BIFF
Forget your mind! We don't need it. Come on. It'll only take a
few minutes. Lie back, close your eyes and think of England.
JAYNE (laughing, switches off the lantern)
Oh, what the hell! It probably was a dog
BIFF (laughing, too)
All right! (Some writhing and panting)
JAYNE (sitting up)
Uh...Biff?
BIFF
I'll be right with you.
(JAYNE switches on lantern. BIFF cowers and covers his crotch)
Don't do that!
JAYNE
But I thought you were so--- you couldn't--?
BIFF
I was. Until you brought me down.
JAYNE
All that Yang ---?
BIFF
So I exaggerate.
JAYNE
King of the Beasts.
BIFF (roaring)
Yeah! Roooaarr! Ready to pounce on my prey!
(BIFF switches off the lantern, roars again and pounces.
JAYNE pinches him, hard. BIFF howls)
Yeow! What was that for?
JAYNE (switching the lantern back on)
Crabs have claws, too.
BIFF (horrified, glancing from crotch to crotch)
Crabs!
JAYNE
Cancer?
BIFF
You have cancer?
JAYNE
I am Cancer. The Crab. Or maybe you say Moonchildren?
BIFF
You mean your sign.
JAYNE
All watery and receptive and domestic. But still, with claws.
Pussy cats, though, not lions or tigers.
BIFF
Or bears.
JAYNE
I was bare.
BIFF
So you were. Brown, would you say? Or grizzly?
JAYNE
Hush! (switches out lantern)
BIFF
Now what?
JAYNE
Listen. There.
BIFF
A cry?
JAYNE
Coyote.
BIFF
It's?
JAYNE
Out there. Coyote. Don't you hear it?
BIFF
There's no--
JAYNE
Shhh!
BIFF
Shit!
` JAYNE
I heard it before, though I didn't recognize it.
BIFF
This is Massachusetts. There are no coyotes in Massachusetts.
JAYNE
You can't know that.
BIFF
I know. The King knows.
JAYNE
There he goes again.
BIFF
I don't--.
JAYNE
Hush. Listen.
BIFF
In the south. In the west. Not in Massachusetts.
JAYNE
Global warming.
BIFF
Only if it escaped from a zoo.
JAYNE
Maybe it's your totem?
BIFF
I don't have a totem.
JAYNE
(takes the votive light from the statue, holds it up to BIFF's
face)
No?
BIFF
I've got a sign, and a number, and a mantra, and a gemstone, and--
JAYNE
It could be coming for you.
BIFF
Not if I can't hear it.
JAYNE
Then he must be for me! That's why the rush of my tides, the pull
of my moon...! (calls)
I'm coming, Coyote! Old trickster! I come at your call.
(JAYNE ducks out of the tent carrying the candle, dances off into
the night BIFF switches on the lantern, just as the wild howl
of a coyote sounds loud and near. BIFF reacts with astonishment,
then ducks out of the tent, holding up the lantern)
BIFF (calls)
Jayne! Wait for me, Jayne! That damn thing's real!
THE END
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